Art Muse, where have thou gone?

Hmmm, lacking in art... well, I have a lot of art and as always people are telling me I'm fantastic... but I'm just not up to par of where I want to be. This happens on occasion and after a couple months I'll finally hit home where I'm pushing myself to be at. But I need it to happen now, especially going into art portfolio submitting and stuff like that... Urgh...

Aw... a friend posted a tumbler about missing a guy she loved a ton and wishing she had him back. Reminded me of a really good song. ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZp6pmgbZyU ) Should Miranda and I break up, I pray that we will always be friends. Dating is an experiment. It helps you learn more about you and follow Gods stepping stones into the arms of the one He has created for you. For me.

Anyway, got PJ's planned for tomorrow. After school got to come back to the house, change, and then go submit Kennesaw Application/mail it. More gas usage... fun. >_< No job replies yet. Erg.

"To hug you,
To kiss you,
To tuck you,
To pat you,
To punish you,
To teach you,
To guide you,
To help you,
To show you,
To lead you,
To push you,
To let you,
To wish you,
To dream you,
To protect you,
To allow you,
To discipline you,
To embrace you,
To sing you,
To dance you,
To be with you every step of life,
To love you.
To be a mother of a daughter, of a son, of a child, of you."

A poem for mi madre. *huggles Mom* Love you!

-Jake Kelton

Two days... one post...

Missed yesterday due to being a VERY long day and internet dying last night, so, since I'm not trying to do 365 posts, just instead telling what I do each day, here's both yesterday and today in one...

1/26/2010
Good day overall save for a almost crippling headache for a large portion of the school day. Finally went away a bit before school ended. Left after school, dropped Caleb off at home, picked up Alex's book, dropped it off at the library, picked Alex and Kyle up, dropped Kyle off, dropped Alex off at the library, picked Andrew up, dropped Andrew off, dropped Hair Salon Shop application off. Then headed over to Sweet Spirit to chat with Caitlin who was on break. Very fun time. Filled out an application there too. Ugh... starting to get discouraged. >_< Then started to head home to get dinner before remember it was Tuesday and had Drama Improv. Went to church. We all lagged tonight, but even in our slowness, we were pretty funny. Not amazing, but even if we're all dead tired come Feb 13, we'll still get some laughs. =) Then finally went home and got ready for school tomorrow.

"Play by the rules,
Use available tools.
Don't be too late,
There's no time to hate."

-Jake Kelton


1/27/2010
God, please help our country. Oh, it is in such need right now. Strong leadership, active decision makers, and doing rather than talking.
Today was again good. Again had another headache. Got it in 2nd. Probably Ms. Johnson's fault. XD Got Jafar for Aladdin, so I get to grow out a really long bead. Joy... XD Anyway, drama club was fantastic. Got to do a Simon Cowell impression as we had a panel of four "judges" for the monologues people read. They get better each week! So impressive. *sniff* So proud of all of them! =D Went to Miranda's youth group. Fun. Barely pulled off 41 pushups to top Warrens 40, but I had to rest a time or two for a few seconds and he didn't really... well, maybe once. One day, that 100 number will happen. ;) NEED to get a new profile picture of Miranda and I... hm... Also, Sundae is really pushing me playing Jesus for their Easter play, meaning I get to really grow my hair out and grow a beard. Which means I REALLY need to get my Senior pictures done. Like... Friday. XD Uuuuurgh. Well, God will provide. Provide me a spanking so I get my booty moving. >_<
=P

Rather than a poem, I want to share a piece of writing I did a while back when I was feeling down. This in no way reflects my mood tonight, just a more extreme version of a feeling I had a while back.

"Rain waxes and wanes in a slowly increasing beat as the heavens cry on the earthy clay. You lean against the window, breathe slowly coming in and out of your lungs, silent and slow. The pane of glass fogs up, clears slowly, only to fog up again with exhaled air, almost as if to copy the falling water pounding on the other side of the diamond wall. Pitter, patter, pitter, patter, pitter, patter, it goes on and on, ever repeating. Tired eyes trace the gray trees, gray year, and empty gray driveway. Head seems so full, and yet so lacking in its empty hollowness. Behind the eyes rests an inescapable pressure, building, shrinking, building shrinking. Crystal rain, opaque breathes, burning thoughts, all flowing like oceans tides. Exhausted of thought, you attempt to pour music’s sweet escape into the empty hole. One song goes by, followed by a second. A third replaces it, and still you sit, knees up, arms hugging. But no matter how much you play, the hole is still there, just as no matter how much you hug, it won’t be around the one you want to hug. So you sit. A fourth song plays, a fifth, and now you’ve lost count in the meaningless words and the tuneless music echoing off your ears. You shiver. This time you don’t react, knowing that no matter how many layers you wear, you won’t be warm. Maybe the sun might begin to thaw the frosts icy grip, but no sun peaks its head today. Moaning cotton balls of pent up hurt and fear roll on across the darkened lands face, ever dropping tears of sorrow and loneliness. Then, that song comes on. The one you will never forget. The one you danced, let it go, let your spirit fly. With that one, the one, the only one you hug like that, dance like that, love like that. The one holding the key to your lock, the hole in your heart; whose voice can bring a burst of rainbow butterflies from your chest. You close your eyes and let your mind wander to that night, the night of music, of rain, of dance. But the rain was tears of ecstasy, a joy indescribable from all other happy moments. The night was a night of bright lights, shared passion, and a moment in each others arms that cannot be forgotten. A night of a single pair of dancers, but lost in a crowd of jigsaw piece partnered couples. You know your pieces match; color, shape, tone, and texture. So different, and yet fit so perfectly together. And tonight you share in that knowledge, looking into each others eyes, lost in each others worlds. And just when you feel your soul is being stolen, the one leans in, closing the distance, eyes closed and- You blink. Across the room your little cell is buzzing. Leaping from your chair, you stumble to the edge of the couch where you left it. Grabbing your phone you rub your eyes for a second, still dazed from your nostalgia. Pitter, patter, pitter, patter, pitter, patter, the rain continues with repetitive reverie. Hope, hope, hope, is it the one? Hope. Your fingers tighten for a moment as the phone buzzes again. You close your eyes tight, mentally wish a small prayer, and then simultaneously open your hands and eyes. You look."

Hope it didn't bring too many tears. =D
Heading to bed. Night!

-Jake Kelton

Another short post from another busy day...

To summarize, talked long and late with both youth pastor and Mom last night. As you could probably see, 2 AM and later. Anyway, talked about a lot of things, but come out as always a much wiser and more matured young adult. Can't hardly talk with either without learning some life lesson. =)

Also to summarize the Miranda issue, through yesterday and today I had it really, really rough. Went through a hard time. But God saw me and her through. Took her aside during lunch today and had a really good heart to heart conversation. The period before I was nearly sick from nervousness and anticipation, but I made it. =)
Audition for the Genie I thought wasn't that great, but after watching the other two I think I have a very good chance of playing him. *crosses fingers*
After school drove around with Jeff and tried to apply to four different places. One wasn't open. One wasn't hiring. One was and I got application. And the last one seems actually like a very cool and fun place to work. It's actually a beauty salon, which won't help others thinking I'm gay. But you find work where you find work. And this is my life and so I'm going for it. Anyways, just got a very good vibe from the store. So filling out the application and will drive over there tomorrow after school to drop it off. HAVE to go to bed now though. Two nights of little sleep won't do be good at all. Plus I think I have a quiz on something tomorrow. XD

"Two hearts entwined, two breathes held,
Two minds lost in music four ears beheld.
Four hands clasped, two and two together,
Two pairs of eyes completely lost in the other.
Two bodies jump, four feet simultaneous land,
One moment with each other lost in timeless sands."

So much poetry on dancing... Lit Mag is gonna kill me if I try to submit all of this... Haha.

Night!

-Jake Kelton

Just to say..

Going to have a huge, huge post tomorrow. Huge. Massive huge. "Too Long Didn't Read" huge.

So much going on... mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually completely and utterly drained. Should sleep like a rock tonight.

"How to say yes after so many no's?
How to say goodbye? Only God knows."

Night

-Jake Kelton

Burned by the match head.

"How can you talk with someone who won't open their mouth?
How can you speak with a shadow, or birds flying south?
You can only speak to, only speak for, only hope that
There will come a day, come a time, the phone hasn't sat
Un-ringing, un-buzzing, un-nocited all day
As slowly and lonely time flies away
What can you do with a tight tongue?
How can you encourage the songs it has sung?
Do you push, do you push, do you just step aside?
Let times slow removal run it's course?
What if the hope fading, darken shading
Turns to black, a crashed start not shooting?
And how can you take the place of a friend?
Someone who loves them like you, to the end?
These big shoes I'm taking, stepping into
Are large to fit, with the places they've been to.
But I'll do my best to pass this test
Take my chances, no circumstances will allow me to rest
Praying each day for Gods will to be done
Praying I'll be the boyfriend she needs under today's sun.
He paired us for a reason and maybe this is it,
A challenge be to be firm, but gentle as seen fit.
I only hope with open eyes I will eventually see,
The true glowing light of glory that inside her can be.
Patience is a virtue, they all will say...
But how when I'm bursting with love every day?
Not at her side, each passing minute
Leads me to fear it's a minute I'll regret
But remember she has a life to live too
Even if every night I tell her 'I love you.'"

Going to leave that almost all for tonight. Rearranged room. Got vids off camera. Going to bed. Hope I can sleep. Night world!

-Jake Kelton

I got a feeling that tonights gonna be a good night!

Listened to this song so many times over already... =P
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNzrwh2Z2hQ

Anyway, today in school was a lot of fun. Took my Ipod so I was awake through all my classes and didn't nap in AO which meant by the time 5th period came around, I was really hyper. Very fun and very interesting, but I'm enjoying my semester a ton so far. Auditions Monday, got called back for Genie which is exciting. =D

Missed Miranda and wanted to hang out/watch a movie, but she went to a friends house. Got over it, realizing that I don't get special privileges unless she wants to give them. =P Instead was picked up by Graydon and Leah and had a really fun time hanging out with them at the East Cobb park. Just did some crazy fun stuff. Nearly hurt myself a few times, but God watched out for me. ^^

Starting up my newest comic idea, just doodling and working, working, working on getting ideas out of head onto paper or computer paper.
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/album.php?aid=149682&id=607531711&ref=mf
Going to try to regularly update it, but it probably will only happen once a week or so. Still a ton of fun to draw so far.

Urgh, poem... um....

"A year older, a year new, birthday around the corner pew
Scared to grow, take new steps, scared to work additional reps
But close your eyes, change comes and flows,
These earthly ties with dirt covered toes
Are here for now, now for here, only in place to shed a tear
Precious time to enjoy living, with the ticking clock God is giving
So don't be frightened, waste not in vain
Look to the future enlightened, and continue to be insane."

Mostly for a friend, and I think she'll enjoy it when she reads it. But it can really apply to anyone afraid to age along year. Really, though we only celebrate it once a year, we're constantly aging every day. So don't fear the inevitable. Run with it and celebrate another joyous day.

Night world!

-Jake Kelton

Art, art, art, and the fragility of life...

Super late, so making this simple and short... again. *sigh*

Been doing a lot of art. Fills my head and I seem to just be waiting for the next moment I have a pencil in my hand. Doing some new experimentation art in class, but it's a slow process, at least to make good art. It's... new, so it's not as good as much stronger stuff. But I want to branch out. Play around. Experiment. Have fun. We'll see how the next week goes. Along with my portfolio collection. Hmm.... Anyway, really hoping God has a plan for college, cause I sure need all the help I can with that. Along with a job. Gotta do the searching tomorrow. Ack. Something else I was supposed to do as well besides Zacksbies and that other place. Eh... maybe I'll remember it tomorrow. But praying throughout the day made it a lot better. Wrote "Pray" on a hand just as a reminder and when I saw it, it helped me have that new outlook and send a short prayer to God. Maybe eventually I can always talk with Him. That's the hope. =) Also, from now on going to pray over a picture before I start it. Dedicate it to His glory, that way whatever I do will be done for Him. Tis my plan anyway...

Friend of some of my good friends died today. Or so the story goes. From what I've heard and read which is limited, there was a shooting in the small town of Appomattox VA and included in the victims was a girl who had gone to Hightower with a number of my friends when they were there. It's a scary thing to think that one day, someone I know well won't ever sign in to Facebook again. Won't answer a text. Won't pass by in the hallway with a smile. Won't live any longer. It's a scary thing. But a real thing. Life is short. Fragile. With so much ahead of each one of our lives, how can we live to be mean to someone? How can you curse at someone if the next day they no longer live? How could you live knowing that you won't ever get a chance to say goodbye, nor even a simple nice word? How much better off would the world be if each time we thought something mean or harsh, we changed it for a compliment, a compliment we really meant?

Wow... 1 Am...

"Late nights, thoughts of you
Dreams dreamed, am I the fool?
Wait, slow, God knows His plan
One day I will change from boy to man."

No clue what that is or what it means.
Just something...

Bed. Now.
Night!

-Jake Kelton